It’s interesting
When previous motivations fall away
Just
Lie their limp one day
As you fall in love with something a bit more
Substantial
Than all that revenge you once chased
Revenge from a mirage
Of an image you had in your mind for years that feels
Like a grave
Now
I didn’t move to New Orleans for money
Or fame
Or recognition
Or even for an audience
I moved here
For love
To pour love into myself
To pour love into what’s deserving of
What I have to give
And I find myself standing in a garden now
All sorts of odds ends of plants have blossomed
Friendships
Communities
One
Romance
In particular
And now I find a new motivation
Behind why I listen to my go out there and seize the world playlist in the shower
I see April 1st on the horizon
I see the money that’s not in my bank account
I see the bill due dates coming up
And I see the new mattress we’re going to split the cost of
And haul it into whatever neighborhood we decide to venture into together next
I see the days
The nights
The stretches of weeks of more time ahead of us
I told you this morning
I want to relish this
I don’t want to rush any step of the process
Motivation
Is interesting
It’s everything really
It fuels what actions I take
Why
When
It characterizes my every interaction
I don’t need to be sexy on the Internet in particular anymore
I don’t care about what anyone else is doing in LA
I want to see New Orleans thriving
My friends
My neighbors
My friends’ small businesses
Myself
You
Us
I see the stretch of this Saturday night ahead of me
I’m about to go do a photoshoot in a dress I’ve never photographed before
Nor worn since
The National New Play Network’s fundraiser in Chicago in 2023
The first time I ever heard somebody say onstage
“You made that happen, Olivia.”
“You.”
“You had the vision, and you saw it through.”
The person who said that was India Nicole Burton
Thanks, India
For reminding me in that moment who the fuck I am
And reminding me who I am right now
It’s funny
It takes Frodo the entire Fellowship of The Ring to realize he needs to go it alone into Mordor
That’s how long it takes for him to gain the courage
And then there’s Sam
And Sam’s like I’m going with you
And Frodo’s like okay
YOU can come, Sam
You
As we enter 2026, that’s what I feel like
I’ve finally gained the courage
And
I’m not alone
Whatsoever