Dear Writer Director Letter #99

I just want everybody to be together. I just want the melting away of status and how we limit each other with how we see each other to go away.

Dear Writer Director,

I just want everybody to be together. I just want the melting away of status and how we limit each other with how we see each other to go away. The Emperor has no clothes. No one knows anything, and the sooner we admit that to ourselves and each other, the sooner we can all be together.

People project onto me that I want status. People project onto me what they are most afraid of in themselves. I do what I do because I want the world to change. We don’t have to be miserable. We don’t have to be. We don’t have to walk around thinking the worst of someone we don’t know. We don’t have to go around thinking the worst of ourselves.

I just want everybody to be together. I have spent a lot of time the past four months knocking on so many doors over and over again that won’t open. I have spent a lot of time facing my biggest fears head on, repeatedly. Now I have decided to dissolve those doors. They no longer exist. Everybody is about to be together. Something I’ve learned is that I can create and destroy my illusions at will.

There are no known roads anymore. There is no such thing as an asset someone owns. Nothing defines us: not anything we’ve done or anything we will do. The Emperor has no clothes. In an instant, the stock market changed countless people’s realities forever. All it took was a moment. It was fragile to begin with. I’m tired, and I’d like to try hard in a new way.

I’m sitting in the breeze coming in through my French Quarter apartment window. There’s so much I don’t know. The universe and I conspired together to make this move happen. It took everything in me, but we did it. Now I’m integrating what happened out on the road. I can’t say much yet other than I will never be the same. That trip changed me for good. I will never go around trying to prove myself again to anyone. I will just survive and be of service in how I’m called to be of service to this world. I will just be unafraid of forging bonds with those I encounter along the way. Sure, the universe and I did a lot, but all of my friends did so much more. Co-navigating that van for that week was an exercise in teamwork I haven’t experienced since my theatre directing days. We were a hive mind by the end of it and a really beautiful flowy and capable one.

I just want everybody to be together. I was texting with a friend today about how I want five specific people to text me all the time, 50 times a day. I declared that that would be heaven on earth. I’d gladly have my attention taken anytime by these 5.

I just want the melting away of status and how we limit each other with how we see each other to go away. I just want to feel like myself again, not the fear riddled adjunct professor who cares for everyone on earth. I want to feel like the wild, pure soul that I have always fought to be. I just want those that fear me or project their darkness onto me to see the light that’s really there. I’m only here to make you shine brighter. I swear I’m not here to take anything from you.

I feel close to someone when they reveal the complexities of their emotional responses. I feel honored to be exposed to someone else’s private disclose. It’s in those moments that most men feel shame, but I only see strength and the man that they truly are within those lucidities. I had an ex who had experienced some serious violence in his drug dealer days, and he let me see that pain only once, but it was the closest I ever felt to knowing him as a human being.

Everybody is a celebrity and deserves to be. Celebrities are simply self-actualized people walking in their purpose. Sure, many famous people have lost their way, but they found their way there through believing in what they were originally doing. You deserve to take up space like that. You don’t have to be a non-player character anymore. You don’t have to be at the mercy of the wide-open world. You don’t.

Dear Writer Director, people project onto you what they don’t want to explore within themselves. That’s how it works. I worked with a shadow coach once who taught me to identify the things that trigger me about someone else and then name the opposite expression of those behaviors. Then she told me that those opposite expressions were my superpowers, the parts of me that needed to be integrated in order for me to flourish further. It completely blew my mind. She was right.

I just want everybody to be together. That’s all. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, and I have fought like hell to put that into all sorts of words, but here it is: crystal clearly.

Love,

Olivia